Starting over taught me what makes a house feel like home 🌱
A story on starting over from scratch, plus my list of nonnegotiables
Good Digs is a design and decor newsletter from The Good Trade. Every other Thursday, one of our editors pulls back the curtain on their space, inspirations, and reflections on home.
💛 A letter from our editor, Silsila
A little over a year ago, my husband and I found ourselves scrambling to find a new home in just six days. Before this situation, neither of us had any prior plans to move – it was something we only dreamed of, but that wouldn’t be a reality for a long time.
How did we end up here, you may ask? After getting married in the summer of 2024, both of us locked in on the same plan – to pay down our debt and save up as much money as possible to be able to purchase our first home together. We’d achieve this by living in our parents’ basement apartment until we were ready to take the next step.
Our plans were suddenly derailed when we were hit with a swarm of rodents and mysterious critters that were biting us every single night. We hired exterminators, were cleaning and disinfecting every spot of our apartment like crazy, but the problem only got worse as time went on, leaving us no choice but to find a new apartment to move into. After two rounds of heavy extermination, all-nighters at the laundromat, and quarantining from our loved ones, we filled up a few garbage bags with what little was left of our belongings and made the trip to our new home.
Now looking back, the situation we went through feels almost symbolic. I didn’t realize it at the time, but a new chapter of my life was taking place, sans the old baggage and ideologies I was hung up on for many years. So many physical items I had once felt so attached to, today take up zero real estate in my mind. The money stress I had felt, feeling like we had to spend copious amounts of money to rebuild our lives again, slowly dissipated as I learned the true value of what makes a house a home.
While we’re still in the rebuilding phase, I’ve learned to create nourishing rituals with less, think twice before making a purchase, and truly understand the meaning of “quality over quantity”. This experience taught me to take stock of my own life and learn what possessions are worth it and aren’t. Ironically, life now feels richer and more fulfilling than it ever has.
Over the past year, I’ve created a list of items and practices that have become purposeful nonnegotiables – the ones that have a lasting impact on me and my space every single day. These are it:
Routine Clothing Audit: My clothes were my prized possessions for nearly all of my twenties. I couldn’t fathom letting go of any purchase I had made, even if I’d grown out of the item. I’m still building my wardrobe today, but without attachment. Every season I go through and decide what items I keep and which to give away, and in turn I’ve been much more intentional about every item I buy, ensuring each piece is beautiful, functional, and a high quality staple that makes me look and feel good. This summer capsule wardrobe guide has been insanely helpful in helping me plan my purchases.
Comfy jewelry: I used to be the person that loves collecting and receiving jewelry, but never wore it unless a special occasion came around. I often settled for cheap jewelry to wear on a daily basis, but the materials usually left me with irritated skin or tarnished jewelry after a couple of weeks. Now, I love wearing light, solid gold pieces that make me feel good and don’t leave me feeling overstimulated: Namely, these Mejuri Hoops and this Poppy Finch Pearl Bracelet.
A Quality Mattress: We spend nearly a third of our lives sleeping, so a good mattress is nonnegotiable. The Medium-Firm Organic Mattress from Silk & Snow has a special place in my bedroom and is the comfiest mattress if you often sleep in different positions.
A Couch That Grows With You: After using a cheap IKEA futon for many years, which I’m pretty sure led to me having neck pain, investing in a high quality couch made with nontoxic materials is another must have for me. Silk & Snow also carries a lovely Modular Couch, which I’ve been loving for the past year. It grows with you, and it’s stayed fluffy and supportive, no matter how long I lounge around on it. If you’re into a different style of couch, this guide on sustainable sectionals will match you with your perfect one!
Cute Countertop Appliances: If you’re like me and love cooking, but you also love a clean, aesthetic kitchen, cute countertop appliances that are not only functional, but are stylish, go a long way. One of my favorite purchases ever is the Our Place Wonder Oven: It’s PFAS-free, replaces the need for a toaster, cooks everything to perfection, and I get tons of compliments on it!
Staying Hydrated: I’m probably the last person to ever recommend any sort of smart device, especially a water bottle, but WaterH’s Smart Waterbottle has truly changed the game for me. I love that there’s an interface right on the bottle that informs me how close I am to my water goal, and it even glows when I haven’t taken a sip in a while. If you have trouble reaching your water goals, this will do the trick.
An Active Hobby: As someone who never grew up participating in any physical activity ever, daily movement has brought my body and mind to its healthiest era yet. Pick any type of movement you enjoy, stick to it, and you’ll feel the same way. I love a combination of yoga, pilates, strength training, hiking, and walking on my WalkingPad.
SPF SPF SPF! We all know how important SPF is, and personally, I stick to only using zinc oxide sunscreens on my face. Occasionally, I’ll try a new one to see how it compares (I’ve been enjoying the Priming Lotion SPF 50 from Naked Sundays). My favorite continues to be the Tower28 FaceGuard SPF30.
A Treat: Balance is key to a happy, healthy life. While before I would often overindulge and find myself overspending or collecting way too many things I don’t need, picking one or two items that bring me little spurts of joy are worthwhile in keeping my routine in check. Lately, it’s been a morning glory muffin from my local cafe, P.F. Candle Co.’s Amber & Moss Candle and this cocokind Lip Blur Balm.
I encourage you to take stock of your own home, noting which possessions you own that serve you, could be removed from your to-get list, or given away to someone who may benefit from them more. Drop your nonnegotiables below. I’d love to read yours!
Warmly,
Silsila
Hi Silsila, this article really resonated with me as I just spent the last 3 months sorting, selling, donating, and deciding what to keep from a stuffed storage locker (10'x20'x12') that held my deceased parent's family heirlooms and belongings. It was a grueling, emotional process that encouraged me to evaluate the importance of "stuff" and the value we hold onto physical items. After all was said and done, I only kept 3 small pieces of furniture items that hold special memories and give me joy. There are also a few boxes of mixed items which I have to unpack and believe that more purging will unfold as what once seemed too "precious" to let go off on day one of this process, is now much easier to release. It is amazing to see the transformation of a "stuffed" locker vs. an empty one and know that every box, bag, piece of clothing and furniture item was inspected to determine their respective destinies.